medical posting ( as post graduate student )

6 months....

that is the duration that i need to be in medical department and currently i am in my 5th months already.

as in medical, everyday is medical.

but today... there is a death of my patient that left a mark in my heart. he showed me that no matter how unfortunate i feel about myself, there are a lot more out there that have been through rougher route than mine.

this guy... named hanafi. just 30 year old male, been diagnosed with HIV years ago.

when i did my morning round on his second day of admission, he did catch my attention. i saw him lying on bed, alone, and looking so calm. until i reach his bed... my HO presented his case to me. the word 'RVD positive' catch my attention.

why?

because usually the RVD positive guy rarely seen like that. we as medical personnel usually can guess the RVD patient just by the look. same with patient with renal disease or diabetic patient.

so this hanafi ... been admitted for upper GI bleed. he was vomited blood in large amount on the day of admission.

i approached him, trying to get a good rapport with him and he responded well to me. so after a few chit chat.... i asked him how did he get those RVD. and he answered me very well.

"saya kena sodomi doktor. masa sekolah dulu. saya sekolah agama kat kuala terengganu ni. masa tu, ade lelaki pecah masuk hostel pastu sodomi saya. saya tak tahu saya ada penyakit ni sampai saya nak kawin. buat test HIV tetiba positive. tunang saya tinggalkan saya lepas tu. lepas tu hidup saya huru hara. keluarga je tempat saya bergantung. mereka semua tahu masalah saya"

he was been admitted for about 3 weeks. i saw him almost everyday in ward. losing weight, getting pale and pale and pale. until yesterday, i went for round, i didnt see him in ward. when i asked my colleague, they said that hanafi requested for discharge.

today... i got the news. he left the world last night at 8pm.

Hanafi....terima kasih kerana mengajar saya erti kehidupan. saya kagum mendengar ketabahan awak melalui semua dugaan yang Allah turunkan kepada awak. semoga awak damai di sana. Al-fatihah.....