when u r up above, never forget to look down

hehe got one story to share. a story for us to think about respecting someone below our level, which sincerely doing his/her job.

actually this story happen to me yesterday. when i was in HSNZ, at the lobby, waiting for the lift to go to ward 4 to visit adik aisyah before undergo wound debridement which was planned today. so, at the lobby....something caught my attention.

guard: mintak maaf kak, kanak2 bwh 12 thn x boleh naik wad.
lady: kenapa plak, kalu saya jaga elok2 xpela.
guard: bukan masalah jaga, ini arahan dr pihak atasan.
lady: awak ni kenapa nk halang saya naik pulak neh? saya jauh dr kemaman dtg. xkan nk tgk ayah saya x boleh? *tone da naik
guard: saya x halang akak naik atas, cuma yg bawah 12thn ni x boleh naik. silala paham akak. ini arahan pihak atasan. kalu diorg nampak, kami yg kena.
lady: ^(#^!*#)*!#^!*)#!*)#^!)$^!*$^!), awak blah!!! blah!!! saya nak naik jugak.

the guard asked his senior to approach the lady.

guard sr: akak, kanak2 bawah 12thn x boleh naik.
lady: tu saya tau la, tapi saya nk bawak naik jgk. nanti saya bgtau dr kat atas sana.
guard sr: ini bukan keja dr. ini arahan pengarah hospital.
lady: awak ni apa masalah dgn saya. kalu saya nk bwk naik jgk, saya nk bwk naik la.
guard sr: kalu akak naik saje, itu x jd masalah sy. tp bila akak bwk naik anak akak, tu da jd masalah saya.

and then out of sudden...a husband butted in.

husband: awak ni siapa. saya nk berckp dgn timb pengarah trus!
guard sr: kalu abg nk jupe timbalan pengarah silala, kalu dia kasi, saya akan kasi anak abg naik.
husband: *senyap

the lift arrived. im trying not to get involve in that scenario. so i've decided to get into the lift. and then....damn! they were in the same lift with me. and also the guard that trying to stop them to get into the lift. so....bermula la aksi gado2 mulut dlm lift. and seriously....sgt menyakitkan ati. i tried my best to ignore it. but then something happen that cause me involved in that problem.
one of her son (13-15 year old) shouted to guard. saying nasty thing to them. and u know what....i cant stand budak yg kurang ajar. and then i said...

me: adik, jgn ckp mcm tu. paham la. dorg buat keja. dorg diarah. kalu x, dorg xkan halang. org lain boleh buat, kenapa kite payah nak buat.x salah kan kalu kite cube buat.
adik: kami ni dr kemaman! jauh!
lady: hey, jgn masuk campur boleh x?
me: akak, saya mmg xmo masuk campur. x hingin lgsg nak masuk campur. tapi, selagi akak n family n pak guard ade dlm lift neh, lagi tu la kami xleh naik ke wad. tu da jadi masalah kami jugak tu. waktu melawat da nk abih neh.
lady: *she gave me a very 'nice' eye's sign to me

then, the guard decided to settle down, let them go up. but u know what, that lady didnt stop saying that the guard was so kurang ajar. but i was there, i was there watching how the guard approached them with my two eyes and listened to the tone with my two well functioning ears. and my conclusion was....that lady yg kurang ajar bercakap dgn guard. that husband also kurang ajar bila pandang rendah guard tu, and nk trus mengadu kat timbalan pengarah, that kid lagi kurang ajar bila menengking guard yg lagi tua dan senior dr dia, yg pada saya menjadi tegas sbb arahan pihak atasan. all i can say....that family sungguh kurang ajar. yg lagi saya sedih....that lady wearing a 'tudung labuh' that very synonim with a good nice attidude lady. saya bukan anti mereka yg bertudung labuh. diulang....saya bukan anti wanita bertuduh labuh. cume, bila bertudung labuh, make sure, ur attitude are fit enough with that appearance. sbb jgn kerana nila setitik, rosak susu sebelanga.

and one more thing, respect everyones around you. especially your inferior. they are so sincere doing their job. let them do their job by giving your cooperation. when you are up above, never forget to look down and smile at them. i trained myself for that. thats why, i never forget to give 'salam' to guards when i met them. smile when meet with makcik cleaner. seriously, it is not difficult. and i believe you can do it too.

p/s: jika ade sesiapa yg bertudung labuh terasa dgn post ni, saya mintak maaf byk. saya bukan prejudis, cuma saya sedih bila mendengar kata2 kesat yg keluar dr that lady. and actually im just telling u half of the story. the other half, i think i should keep it to myself.

raya qurban

salam everyone!!!

i think it is still not too late for me to wish "selamat hari raya aidiladha" to all of you. so, hows ur hari raya? any fun?

my aidiladha....superb! i like it so much.

1st day
-meriah
-my cousins came to our house, with all their children and decided to spend one nite at our house. so, meriah meriah....

2nd day
-lagi meriah
-one of my father's cow was down. so, we ate a lot of meat. mcm2 cara. bakar, goreng, soup...sume ade. and with all the relatives...so much fun. a lot of things we can do when we were together. hehe

3rd day
-lagi lagi lagi meriah.
-because my brother decided to treat our new 'siblings' with kfc. lots and lots and lots of kfc. the one that made the order was me...hehe the perfect choice. cause all of us ate until almost 'kebabom'. haha actually, we were so happy that time, seeing their faces, happily get indulged with kfc. i wish i can do that too when i'm working next year. amin.
-tapi yg x best ye...da kena balik USM!!!!
menci!

kembar?

today, me and noddy accidently wearing the same colour of baju kurung and tudung. hehe cam kembar x seiras plak. actually before we took this pict, we were in state of 'irritable' due tue a very long class. so, we took some picts to distract us from being more and more irritable in that class. quite worried about noddy, she easily turns to be GREEN MONSTER nowadays. so, say cheese! haha

*twink twink

p/s: i like rainy day. so much. but when it cause flood, i starts to be worried about it. i dont want to spend my precious 4 days holiday in kelantan just because of flood or being stuck in the bus on da way to my hometown. huhu xmo2! well, dont worry. i'll do whatever it takes just to make sure that i'll be in KT this coming raya haji holiday.

a woman, a girl

yesterday...it became one of the Yahoo headlines.

.

"End of an era. Oprah ending show after 25 years!"

.

so the season 25 will be her last Oprah Winfrey's show (2011). so frustrated to read and know about that. but, just keep trying to be rational. oprah also a human. she starts something, and the ending will come after that. we just dont know when rite? and i believe that she needed a lot of courage and reasons to stop this TV show.

.

i knew about beauty through oprah, i knew about abusive husband through oprah, i knew about the riches through oprah, i knew about the peoples in slum through oprah, i knew about relationship through oprah, i knew about most of the books that i read through oprah, i knew the criminal's thinking through oprah, i knew the story behind obama's family through oprah, i knew about health through oprah and dr oz, i knew about women around the world through oprah and lisa ling, and i knew about life through oprah. almost all of them through oprah.

.

when i go back to my house, one of a-must-to-watch tv show is oprah's.

.

i grew up with this program for the past few years. and im gonna miss it after it ends in 2011.

................................

if u read my previous previous post, u must know about a story of a girl that been raped, stabbed and been showered with acid by her step father.

.

after months, i saw her again, today. not walking happily passing by in front of me. but i saw her in OT table. underwent one surgery to repair her face and enucleated one of her eyes. before this, i just saw her covering with all the bandages. but today, almost of her body was uncovered for scrubing and then......im speechless.

.

in my heart...i 'sincerely' gave tons of curses to her step father. although i knew that he died after successfully commited suicide by drinking the acid.

.

i dont know how this young girl will face the world. or how this world will accept her. i just dont know.....

isyaNIA's books club - Outliers

salam everyone....

it's friday, weekend in kelantan, the rain still non-stop pouring down cooling the earth since the last two days and the temperature is so nice to get wrapped with a thick blanket and sleep. it's so hard to believe that, i woke up so early this cold friday morning just to attend my class with dr dev in anaest department. huhu depressed yer.

wanna share something with you, my lovely readers....

i rarely talk about books lately right? it's because i didnt get a chance to buy one, even more to read. but last week, i bought one book in popular. actually, i wanna buy this book since last year. but since it was still quite expensive that time, i prefer to hold it until last week, i can get it cheaper than before. hehe lucky me.

it is OUTLIERS - the story of success by Malcolm Gladwell.

currently, i already read half of it. and i can summarize this book as interesting.

it tells us how we should see SUCCESS from different views. as example, bill gates. everyone thinks that he is a genius. built up a sofware and then bang! he become the richest man on earth. but actually, to be that succesful, he needs a lot of oppurtunities and lucks. and the author shows us how this combination bring success to someone. interesting right?

this is one tiny part of this book that i like most...(i even marked this part)

"The tallest oak in the forest is the tallest not just because it grew from the hardiest acorn; it is the tallest also because no other trees blocked its sunlight, the soil around it was deep and rich, no rabbit chewed through its bark as a sapling, and no lumberjack cut it down before it matured.we all know that successful people come from hardy seeds. but do we know enough about the sunlight that warmed them, the soil in which they put down the roots, and the rabbits and lumberjacks they were lucky enough to avoid? this is not a book about tall trees. it is a book about forests."

so nice. and after reading this part, i started to think who is my warm sunlight, my rich soil, the rabbit and the lumberjack that i luckily enough to avoid until i can reach this level.

thank you so much to my sunlight that non-stop giving me the warm and energy, thank you so much to my rich soil that become a home for my roots and allowing me sucking all the nutrients for me to grow and grow and grow in order to become among the tallest tree in my own forest.

p/s: finally i'm back to my favourite before-go-to-sleep routine. reading a few pages of my favourite books (medical books are stricly prohibited) with bedside lamp.

death

yersterday...we lost someone in the ICU. a young pregnant lady who was diagnosed to have severe septic shock secondary to H1N1 infection.

.

she collapsed at 915am and drs tried their best to bring her back. but then, due to multiple organs failure, she died after 30mins of non-stop CPR.

.

i was there, standing outside the patient's room, looking through the glass window, reminisce the memory 3 year ago which occurred in the same room within that ICU.

.

that room, is the same room, where i witnessed the first death in my life on the 1st ramadhan 3 years ago. a young lady, died due to septicemia secondary to leukaemia. and that girl was my brother's special girlfriend which i never have a chance to know her well.

.

that time, i couldnt sleep for a week. i saw her face, i saw the monitor showing the asystole and i saw how her parents cried so hard especially her mother, kissing her face and hands after the doctor declared the time of death. that time, i realized the power of GOD. just initially presented with fever and cough, her condition deteriorated rapidly, and after two week of hospitailization, she died.

............................................

.

A lot students from other courses started locking their room and went back to their hometown, enjoying their holiday.while us, medical students, still having classes.

.

me?

.

there will be no weekend for me this week. this morning i have to go to ICU, have class. tomorrow we start our rotation in OT. and my turn to on call this sunday. wednesday...will head back to KT for hari raya's holiday until sunday. so excited since 5 of all us will be at home.

.

so to everyone, happy weekend and happy holiday!

true medical student

in ICU

me: eh guys...u know what. chef wan will be in Oprah.
farha: oooo ek? why?
me: because he got no 1 in the world's best cook competition if im not mistaken.
farha: wau power yer.
me: yeah..even jamie oliver pun kalah dgn dia. i think he should get 'Datuk'. i mean he deserves that title compare to all that kind of singers who got that.

pause...

me: guey shan....you know how long is the gestational period for elephant?
guey shan : no, but i know for cow.
me: how long?
guey shan: 12 months. and what is the answer for elephant?
me: 22 months. watch national geographic next time. hehe
guey shan: i wanna ask u something.
me: sure, shot.
guey shan: who is oprah?
me: huh? sure u dont know oprah?
guey me: *geleng kepala
me: did u ever read forbes magazine? or watch her TV programs or read about her in internet?
guey shan: nope
me: u better do that now. oprah is among the most popular tv figure in the world. google this name...OPRAH WINFREY. guey shan, stop reading medical books for a while. read something else ok. wau, u r a true medical student. kagum2. hehe

well, in my group...i always asked questions that out from medical base. most of them come from my favourite channels, national geographic, discovery, travel and living and etc la. i asked them this kind of questions because i always failed to give the correct answer if they asked me medical questions. so ni kira balas dendam. well, they rarely watch tv...even more national geographic. in my group, only me and rupesh love to watch this kind of channels. so rupesh is out from the list. others....shot shot shot. and my lucky victim....as usual...noddy (the one that always spend her free time with superjunior)! ishk ishk ishk. and if they failed to give the correct answer...hati mula berbunga. at least i know something that they dont know. one way to de-stress myself actually. and make me think that, im not as bad as i always think.

*twink twink

p/s: it is raining. the whole day. and i love it. i love the weather, i love the rain and i love the scent that coming with it. and i will always do.

..........................................

update 19/11/09

.

in icu

.

me: guey shan, have u google that name?

guey shan: oprah? not yet. i forgot. i'll do it tonight.

me: ok. good2.

.

then....

.

zhe jian: sya, who's oprah?

me: ahhhh....i found the other one.

.

p/s: it is still raining....love it so much.

unhappy

i miss A&E so much. although now im in anaest posting, i think i am not really left the A&E. part of me still there.

-

i miss the thrill and exciting enviroment inside that A&E, nice doctors, friendly nurses, MA, bro JPA and attendants who are working there. they work in pressure, but they still can smile.

-

seriously...this morning, while im alone in one room in ICU, the memory of A&E posting kept flashing in my brain. because, i dont feel like im belong to ICU. i feel like we were not welcome to be there. the staffs dont treats us nicely. not all but some of them. and i starts to feel that we were there to disturb their work activity. plus, the enviroment was quite tense. all sedated patient, lying still with "bep bep bep" sound from machine. stressful rite?

-

but im not saying that i hate anaest posting. i like dr dev. the head of anaest department. he's good. he teachs us a lot. and he is a nice person. never scold us if we didnt know about something but he helped us, by letting us to think. that's is the correct way to teach us. dont ask us to go back and find it by ourselves, because i know, 99% of us wont go back and google about it. just let us think, by guiding us to the answer. that is much2 better. and that is what dr dev do. and we are so damn happy for that.

-

yesterday i had a radiological presentation. after finished my presentation, the dr asked me a question.

-

dr: who did the 'fast'?

me: from the folder, it stated that it was done by radiology registrar.

dr: then it is not 'fast'. we radiologist never did fast. we only do the accurate one. next time, WATCH UR WORDS!

me: ????? *i didnt say 'f***' word. i didnt say 's***' word and i didnt say 'b****' word. and now i have to watch my words???

-

im just telling everyone what was written in the folder. that's all. and because of that...i've been scolded. huh.....

-

i believe that my blog also been read by my lecturers and doctors. because there is a doctor who is accidently google my blog. i dont mind at all. seriously. it just that, what is in the blog...let it be in the blog. dont bring it outside.

-

-

p/s: last last night, i dreamed about someone, and because of that dream...i kept smiling for the whole day. and should i hope for another dream??? hehe

sense of humanity

salam everyone...

*taking a deep breath

as we go deeper to medical world, as we become more and more senior in medical school, i noticed that we started losing something on the way to that goal (graduate). we started to lose our sense of humanity. not all of us, but some of us. or maybe it just me. me with that little problem.

when i was in Accident&Emergency department (A&E) for two week, i felt that i have a lot of 'bad' thoughts. i become cruel to all the people out there.

when i was in pre-ambulance call, i wish that there will be a case. so i can get a chance to get into that ambulance and go to the scene. jahat kan.

when i was on call at night, i wish that there will be a massive bleeding case or collapsed patient. so that i can observe and assist the doctor doing all the 'medical things' to that patient.

one night, i talked with one of my friend while on da way to the A&E for on call, and her thinking was same as cruel as me. that night was raining and she started to think about the slippery road and there will be a moto-vehicle accident.

but that's us. if there is no case, we cant learn much. because we learned from cases. patient is our best text book.and this is the story from medical world.

there's one night, that one of us was asked to set IV line on one unlucky patient. and i was there to assist my friend to insert the branulla. it was so difficult to get the good vein. and there's is one dilated vein at his dorsal part of his hand, but i told my friend not to puncture that vein because it will be really2 painful to set the IV line there. painful to the patient. better we set at another vein. so, we try to seek another good dilated vein. my friend tried one attempt and failed. then....here come the doctor. and he poke that vein. the vein that we dont even have a gut to poke because we didnt want to cause pain to that patient. and as expected....the patient was in pain. and i just like....what wrong with this doctor? are we going to be like that too in the future? just trying to do it, as long as our job settle?

but i dont want to blame him. that is his job. there a lot of patients in line. and we cant waste our time only on one patient.

and maybe im just not well adapt with it. need time i guess.

but, as we go deeper in medical world...we also notice that we can do a lot of thing to save lifes. used our best knowledge to help people in needs. and helping others....it was the best thing to do in this world!

thank you

Thank You!

almost over

wau...!

that's all i can say to describe what was happen to me today.

last night, i went to on call at AnE department. as usual 8-12midnight. then, something happen. one patient collapsed at red zone, and we try to help the doctor to do all the necessary things to the patient. and tup tap tup tap....130am. and something wrong happen to me. i didnt want to go back. i want to stay in AnE. i enjoyed the enviroment. i want to keep doing something in that room. then, we stay there up until 330am.

after all the doctors said...."go home la...u got exam this week."

then, i was planning to fetch my sis at KB at 4am. tunggu puye tunggu....630am she called me and told me that her bus got some problem. so better get some sleep.

*suddenly heard someone's knocking at my door

still not fully awake, i looked at the clock and DAMN! it's 8am and i was late for ward round. running to the toilet and shower.

815am...still drowsy and in a very fast pace to AnE department....someone msg me.

"end posting exam at 10am"

SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!

just imagine, with lack of sleep and nothing's in my brain...how come i can take my exam. but luckily...my leader yg garang (noddy) succesfully persuade the doctor to postpone the exam time to noon.

well, luckily i think i did well. and now....i'm a bit not well centre due to lack of sleep and my adrenal gland already exausted secreting all the cortisol.

p/s: so sad to accept the fact that this thrilling posting almost over. plz...if someone can freeze the time, do freeze it. i wanna stay in AnE posting.

Quote

while surfing the internet last night, i found this beautiful quote about love.

"true love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly"

beautiful right?

and something came across my mind....

"i know i am not perfect from outside, so what can i do to make myself better?
trying to be perfect from inside"

hehe actually that is mine. sometimes, being sentimental ok what.

i want to tell you a story about one of my friend. my ex-classmate. one 'very early' morning (145am), he called me. telling me how stress and uninteresting his uni's life is. and i said, if u can stand it for the past 4 years, i think another 1 year wont be a problem to you. he agreed with me. and told me about his 'drive force' when he was having any difficulty. well, actually a bit shocking to me.

"unfortunately, i picked this way. whatever happen in my life, good or bad, im going to go through it till the end, cause i know, GOD has something for me."

sound familliar?

i put this quote in my FB profile. i wrote this to express my previous regret for choosing this road. well, everyone made mistake in making a choice. so do i. but now, there is no way to turn back. the clock is thicking, and i am so positive with the road that i'm taking now.

back to his story. he told me that this quote has change him. if he starts to think how suck his life is, he will use it to calm him down. what an honour to me. well, i never thought that the things that i wrote in my FB or my blog will help to change others too. i write because i love to. anyway, thank u for being an active or silent reader for my blog. this is the place where i express my thought, de-stress myself and sharing all the stories and dramas that occur around me. i write because i think it can help me to be a better person to myself, my family, my friends and peoples around me, and i hope it can help you too.

p/s: if u r reading my blog now, just try to be strong. u r on that road because u r the choosen one. GOD knows that u r capable to go through it. trust me, u r good, and u r always good in this.

Good Luck Sis!

musim tengkujuh just started in kelantan and terengganu. lots and lots and lots of rainy day for sure. and i lOVE it so much. hehe

in uni, exam session also just started. and here, in this post, i wanna wish good luck to my lovely sis. dear sis, i never thought that u will end up to be a siswi. but u proved to me and others that we're wrong. so keep it up. do your best in ur exam. and show to them (that always look down at you) that u can get a degree too.

GOOD LUCK SIS!

p/s: i'll wait for u this wednesday morning.

should i call it a day?

huhu too many things happen to me today. should i call it a day?

1. woke up late to ward round and been considered as absent
2. need to write a letter to head of department for my absent....and what did i write in that letter?being honest about wake-up late thing. and i think that is the best reason right?
3. oncall for morning and evening session.
4. leave my room at 815am until 800pm
5. missed the ambulance call. shit!
6. meeting the supervisor.
7. 'beku' in that A&E
8. performed badly in the ECG test. i was failed. beyond repair!
9. 'collapsed' in my room after solat magrib until 930pm.
10. no lunch today.
11. i know i am stupid. but today, i just realized how really really stupid i am, and just have 5 months to cover all the 'big holes' in my head. tolong........!

well....after a long day in A&E, i took something to refresh me. oldtown white coffea. the best potion ever.

house needs vicodin, i need caffein. done.