Tuesday, June 8, 2010

im a government worker

huh....im in KL again. dont like it. i like KL. but as my shopping center. but to live and build my family here, i don't think so.

last week i was in KL for MASUM

this week im in KL because of kursus induksi.

which means....i am a worker in government sector. so hard to change the fact that i am no longer a student. well the kursus started yesterday (7 jun 2010). and it also means that my salary also started to be count from yesterday. and i have to present myself to pengarah kesihatan negeri terengganu this sunday. huhu why i have to work before world cup. kan best kalu keja start after world cup. huhu

and for sure, my life will be hectic after this. because this course will be end on 11 of jun. and on 12, there will be the kenduri for my bro's wedding in my house. then on 13 i have to start to work. well, mmg keja gila. but no choice. dont worry, sya selalu buat keja giler. haha

now, stuck in one hotel in da middle of kuala lumpur because of the induksi. berdarah telinga n hidung listened to all the lectures. but at least, the food was ok n nice.

so, c ya later.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

the end of my uni's life

salam everyone.

well, today is da last day for my uni's life. *although my other batchmates already closed the uni's diary a month ago.

this morning, i played my last game as GA (goal attack) with USM's netball team. thank god, we won the game. although i think i was not giving my best for that game, but playing with them was such a big honour to me. they are the best team mates ever. i love them all with all my heart. to hazirah, hanis, rozye, yan, fiza sr, fiza jr, aishah, suzye, farah, syam, nadia, emil, jannah, miss gan and kak nor, thank you so much for giving me such a meaningful and beautiful ending for my university's life. i'm gonna miss this moment.

then another good news arrived. i will be posted to Hospital Sultanah Nur Zahirah soon. my first choice. so glad to get that hospital. at least i can stay close with my family. thank you god for your unending blessing to me. thank you.

so, after this, i'll be heading home tonite. tomorrow is a big day for my dear brother and his fiancee. they are getting married tomorrow!!! and i will get a sister in laws. happy2. although ade sedikit rasa bersalah cause i was not around preparing the wedding, but im so thrill to enjoy the first wedding in da family.

so to my dear brother and soon to be sister in laws......

"SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU AND SEMOGA KEKAL KE ANAK CUCU"

Friday, May 28, 2010

for us friendship means three

year 1

year 2

year 3

year 4

year 5

once, they were medical and dental student. met in usm, decided to be friends and kept holding to each other while facing any obstacles in life. 5 years they shared secrets, problem, tears, pain, joy and gossips. then that 5 years reach to the end...now, they have to go separately. taking different path, facing the world alone, without others. one in terengganu, one in kedah and one in johor. they might change to be a better person, but deep in their hearts....the friendship that they gained together will never change. because that friendship that help them to be who they are today. i miss u. damn miss u all.
........................................

on my way to KL for masum, i met nurul when our bus stop at one rest station. nurul was on the way to putrajaya for registration thing there. it was around 3am in the morning. i didnt know it until nurul called my phone to wake me up. i reject the 1st call because i was to sleepy that time. and then the phone rang again. i picked it up and it was nurul, telling me that her bus was next to my bus. so we decided to have a drink at that rest station (actually only me that ordered a drink that night). as usual, nurul got a lot of things to be shared. and i was just listening. that time, i have a thought about this might be the last time i'm listening to nurul's complaint about her coursemates. might be....

and then time to get into the bus. we shake hand and hugged and said good bye.

in the bus, suddenly i felt sad. thinking about that might be the last time we met. and without notice, i cried. sob sob sob. only god knows how much i love this friendship. we never quarrel to each other. the chemistry between us is very very strong. and we know, we wont stop here. although we live in different state, the bonding will never stop. noddy and nurul, be happy with your love ones. we will meet again in da future. sayang korang.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

april and may

as i promised, i got a lot of thing to be shared here. but since all of them are old stories. i make it quick and short k.

well, after my result came out last april, we had one big dinner to celebrate our victory in that final fight. the theme was "glam nite". and it was really2 glam. all my coursemates went shopping and wear all the glittering dress that nite. me? just make it simple, i wore short kebaya. pink from up to toe. actually pink is not my faveret colour. never ever be one. but i got no choice, so pink is my savior that nite. one of the best thing about that night was, i got "anugerah sukan" from my school (School of Medical Sciences) for my achievement in sport. so happy for that anugerah. at least got a chance to stand on that stage. haha and nurul was there too. to celebrate it with us. thanks nurul.

recieving the award from our dearest Timbalan Dekan

the night end beautifully and holiday started. stay at home. eat, sleep, watching tv and be the bibik for tasya. so at the end, im gaining weight. emm nevermind.
then...

i went to langkawi with BHEPP to attend kem keusahawanan. a good camp for anyone who interested to be usahawan. since i have a dream to have my own bussines in da future, this camp gave me a lot of input. like learning a new thing. a very useful new thing. have fun there. and got new friends and new experience, experiencing the small earth quake.

then...

continue the holiday. but a bit busy compared to before. i have to clean the house as preparation for my brother's wedding which is in jun. and the best thing is, i have my own proper bedroom. and did some makeover to it. why i said my own proper bedroom??? cause i never have a proper room since i left my house at the age of 13. so put some violet colour on the wall and added some new furnitures in that room. the result...beautiful.

finished that part...

so currently i'm in USMKK. having my netball training for MASUM this coming 28-6 jun. well, as usual, a lot of sweat, laugh and fun. after the masum's game, i have to fly straight away to terengganu for my brother's wedding. initially, i felt it was impossible for me to play in masum because of my brother's wedding. but god bless them...i have a beautiful and supportive family that allowed me to play as long as i completed my job in house and be home before my brother get married. so masum's game is da closure for my life as university student. sad to leave usm but happy cause i have such a nice event to end it. the sport that i passionate most in my life...netball. plus playing with a beautiful team ever. sayang korang sume.

so here, i would like to congratulate my dearest friend aka Dr Nurul Fahizha for passing the professional 3 exam. happy to think that 3 of us can graduate together this august.

and my dear brother...congrate for ur wedding. and kak ida, welcome to this family. and one more thing for my brother, the thing that i treasure most this time apart from my own family is ur gift. thanks a lot for that BONIA's purse. love it so much.

Monday, May 24, 2010

king or slave?

dear nurul, i think i should spread this. hehe

i copied this article from one of my close friend's blog. an article from The Star online blog.

emmm what should i say huh???

even when i was a medical student, we were ill treated by the some hospital personnels. we all dilabel as penyibuk and penyemak kat wad. but we knew where we stand that time. but when i read this article...well i have to accept the fact that i'll be ill treated by them for the rest my life i guess. not all of them, but some. no wonder being a doctor is one of honourable job in the world. u treat the patients, and say nothing when being step by others. haha my coming new world.

so here is the article, and i let u indulge with it.

"Why we left and why we will continue to leave...
"
Posted by: MS Mohamad
I read an interesting article today about a few prominent figures addressing their concern over the increasing UKM and UM medical graduates who have left the country to continue their medical practice overseas.
After reading the news for 3 times, I called a very close friend, an MD (UKM) graduate to ask his opinion on how the news might have affected him. He has been working in Singapore for more than a decade as a Consultant Surgeon with a certain sub-specialty

"Why be a slave in your own country, when you are a king in another?" He replied.
Indeed, if anybody would want to find a reason why all of us left, either after housemanship, after being a specialist, or even after sub specializing, and now, even prior to doing housemanship, they need not look at our payslip, or the wealth that we have gained overseas, but only to the Medical System that has been rotting in the ignorance and politic-based stupidity that Malaysia has been well-known for (in the medical field).
I have served the system for nearly 2 decades of my career, waiting for it to improve for so long, and only finding myself in despair, quitting with a 24-hour notice and serving abroad. The system is, in my opinion, keeping doctors, since the beginning of their career as House Officers to the end of it, in the lowermost priority. When I was working there, doctors are so ill-treated, while the nurses and the medical assistants are overpowering us.

I still remember the days when I was doing seeing patients and rounds as an MO, while the staff nurses would mind their own business, having breakfast in the pantry, or having gossip chats at their own leisure. My House Officers would then have to do merely all the labour-work, up to the extent of setting intravenous drips, and serving medications. If I am to expect the nurses, my patients would have been dead, or the work would have been too slowly or incompletely done.

When I was a House Officer, I had to run down 4-5 floors just to review a blood investigation of a dying dengue patient. The ward staff would either be nowhere around, or will say that he is busy (busier than the doctor?) or the answer I got at that time:

"Doktor nak cepat, doktor turun sendirilah, gaji doktor lagi banyak dari saya"
Even when I was a Specialist, the staff nurses had to be called again and again just to make sure the management plan for the patient would be done. I was already used to answers from them:
“I’m busy with something else"
“My shift is already over"
...it was routine for me.

The Medical Assistants were worse. They would hide behind their so-called boss, the Head of Medical Assistant. They feel hiding behind him would make them not under our jurisdiction, that we have no power to instruct them in managing the patient, that they have power to manage own their own. I've seen them giving medications not as we prescribed, performing procedures without our knowledge, as if they are the actual "Doctors". They are in their own world, and we have to do their job, taking blood, labelling samples, and even cleaning gadgets from the procedures that we have done.

Oh, but the ministry loves this group. They even let them run a clinic now, instead of upgrading the clinics already run by doctors. The government feels that the MAs are very important and should never be ill-treated by those big bad doctors. One time when I was a District Hospital Medical Officer, I was conducting a delivery of a baby. An MA insisted that I remove my car which was block-parking his car. I answered through the phone that I was busy.

He came to the labor room and yelled "Semua orang pun sibuk jugak, macamlah doktor seorang yang sibuk!”

It is insulting that an MA or a staff nurse claims that they are BUSY, as busy as a doctor? As a Malaysian Doctor, I have even worked for 72 hours straight. I have experienced working until my 6 month old daughter did not recognize me at the end of the week.

Is that how busy they are? I am very sure that they are so busy, that they can only spend 2 hours at the nearby Mamak stall, or can only leave at 5:10 PM instead of 5, or can only have 1 hour of lunch.

The management staffs are worse. I have to beg and plead so that I can get my on-call claims, of RM25 per 48 hours of work. While sitting in an air-conditioned office, they will at their own leisure, process my call claims so that I will receive them by the next decade.

The state health or Hospital Director would just give another inspirational talk (of bollocks) on team effort and beauty of teamwork.

That is how Malaysian doctors are treated in the government sector: without respect, without dignity and without significance. Why?

It is because we are bound by ethics to try our best to save lives, despite how ill-treated we are. We hardly have time to complaint because we are too busy or tired, and we would rather spend the precious time resting or seeing our loved ones. The burden of trying to save lives is on our shoulders alone. No MAs or Staff nurses would shoulder it with us. They have their own bosses: the Sisters, Matrons, or Head of MAs, which job description is to ensure that the big bad doctors will not ask their underlings to do extra work.

This is how the Malaysian Ministry of Health have treated their doctors. I am very sure that in each and every doctor, there is a slowly-burning patience in serving the Malaysian people, which will eventually fade and cause them to surrender to serving a place that treats them better.
A few colleagues who graduated from UK choose to serve there:
"The pay is more, and we get the respect we deserve"
Another works in Brunei:
“Here the staff nurses respect Malaysian doctors, and they are very co-operative" (He ended up marrying one)
A few are consultants in Singapore (working with me):
"Here we are treated well, we spearhead the management, and every else do their work to the best of their capabilities".
A few even enjoys working in Indonesia:
“The work-load is horrible since there are a lot of patients, but we are well respected by every hospital personnel" (They have migrated there for nearly a decade)

I am sure that people will see doctors as power-hungry individuals who want to be the boss in the hospital. Trust me, after having graduated 6-7 years of medical school, earning a DEGREE, and subsequently MASTERS, and SUBSPECIALITY, you would expect a degree of respect and being considered important. We are trying our best to improve patient's quality of life, or making sure he lives another day. Is it too much to ask from the system that we are important?

I find that Malaysia is the only country that is making doctors' lives miserable and treated like rubbish. It was never about the pay in the first place. It is about the treatment we are getting and the false political-based promises. Do you know that the so-called circular about doctors can have the day off after working 24 hours straight released JULY 2009 is not yet implemented? Do you know that the raise of UD 41 to 44 does not involve every doctor in the government service?

We are waiting for improvement. We have waited a long time when we were working in the system. Somewhere along the line we decided to leave and wait outside the system. Until the system changes, we will continue to work overseas, in countries which are appreciative of us. Trust me, Malaysian-graduate doctors are considered highly skilful and competent in neighbouring countries, and the 15 % brain drain is more significant than you think.

We will return when the system prioritize us and gives us the quality of life we deserve.
If it stays the same, Malaysian Hospitals would end up having Staff nurses and Medical Assistants as "Doctors", and we would have to send patients to Indonesia for an appendicectomy.
Hear our voice. We hardly speak, but will usually fade away from conflict (and fly to another place).

so speechless????

Friday, May 14, 2010

status

currently in post-langkawi-trip blues or in one word.....

COKLAT!!!!!!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

out from the cave

hello everyone!

i know i've been leaving this blog for so many weeks. after i leave usmkk, i decided to cut off my connection with internet. i mean my broadband still fuctioning, but i just ignored it together wif my lappy.well actually currently i am enjoying my holiday with my family, just staying at home, do some eating and watching the TV. emm should i say 'some'???? hehe
and the result... i'm gaining weight and my sister never stop teasing me about that. but you know, after so many many many years living outside my house, eating all the 'nasi dingin' and 'nasi goreng' each day and night, this is the perfect time to take the revenge. so, my mum's cook. the best cuisine in the world. so, gaining weight wouldn't be an issue to me. em for this time being laaaa. hahaha

well, during my absence from this blog, so many things happen to me. and in my head, there is a long list of stories waiting in line to be story here, in this blog. so wait, be patience. i'll tell u one by one. but not today.

tomorrow, i'll be going to USMKK. because the next day, i have to go to langkawi, to seek some fun there. after i'm done there, i tell u all the stories that i wanna share, and upload all the pictures that i've taken.

and to nurul, dont be nervous k. i know u r worried about that list. dont wory, u'll be ok and good luck for ur coming exam. well, i guess i have to sleep in ur room tomorow's night. maybe another pijama party???? hehe

Friday, April 16, 2010

The Oath

salam everyone.....

emm...still receiving a few of congratulations from friends and family. thank you so much. i do appreciated it. *twink twink

last thursday was a day of the beginning of my new chapter of life. and you know, im still adjusting myself to that new title. kind of weird, initially. haha

well, after our names were been announced by our dean, we have one ceremony. everyone that successfully graduated from medical school have to recite an oath. it is an oath of graduates. you know, my hand was shaken and tears were pooling in my eyes while reciting that oath. it means a lot to me, after going through a very rough years in my life to achieve it.

Oath of Graduates of School of Medical Sciences (USM)

In the name of God,
We seek from u:

The ability to be truthful, honest, modest, merciful and objective in our dealings.
The fortitude to admit our mistakes, to amend our ways and to forgive.
The wisdom to comfort and counsell all our patients towards well being, peace and harmony regardless of their social status, race and religion.
The ability to understand that our profession is sacred, dealing with your most precious gift of life and intellect.
We promise to devote our lives in serving Mankind, poor or rich, literate or illeterate, irrespective of race and religion with patience and tolerance, with virtue and reverence, with knowledge and vigilance, and with Your love in our hearts.

i hope i'll be a safe doctor. treating all mankind that needs my help. now one aim achieved. so time to chase the other aims that i got in my head for so many years....