peadiatric posting and me

the opening of my final year session is a bit 'comsi comsa'. because i have to start it with paediatric posting which i didnt enjoy much during my 4th year. but, since everyone have to go through it then nothing much i can complaint.

i dont say that i dont like kids. it just that i am not very good with them. i mean i am not kids person. i can play around with them, but once they start to cry.......i am blurrrrr.i dont know how to make them stop.huhu

everyone still enjoying their first month in university. and some already got 'free' holiday because of H1N1. and seriously guys, i am JEALOUS. because this year, we only get 2 weeks holiday. repeat......TWO WEEKS. 1 week for hari raya and 1 week for chinese new year. so unfair rite. and after graduate, we only got 2 months to rest and enjoy the free time before the KKM calls us and sent us anywhere around the malaysia. anywhere.

i got short case, osce and MEQ this coming tuesday. and today is saturday, and i am still doing nothing for the coming exam. no reading, no practising the physical examination and no study grup plus my requirement for log book (paediatric and radiology) still not complete. a lot of clean empty spaces.

last night, i told my friend that i started losing myself. i am not doing this because of i want to be a doctor but because of i want to complete my study and get the degree. and i think it is not a good sign. since the coming years, HO life, will be much2 hectic than now. with all the responsibility and playing with human's life in your hand.

seriously.....i think i am not ready.