unhappy

i miss A&E so much. although now im in anaest posting, i think i am not really left the A&E. part of me still there.

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i miss the thrill and exciting enviroment inside that A&E, nice doctors, friendly nurses, MA, bro JPA and attendants who are working there. they work in pressure, but they still can smile.

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seriously...this morning, while im alone in one room in ICU, the memory of A&E posting kept flashing in my brain. because, i dont feel like im belong to ICU. i feel like we were not welcome to be there. the staffs dont treats us nicely. not all but some of them. and i starts to feel that we were there to disturb their work activity. plus, the enviroment was quite tense. all sedated patient, lying still with "bep bep bep" sound from machine. stressful rite?

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but im not saying that i hate anaest posting. i like dr dev. the head of anaest department. he's good. he teachs us a lot. and he is a nice person. never scold us if we didnt know about something but he helped us, by letting us to think. that's is the correct way to teach us. dont ask us to go back and find it by ourselves, because i know, 99% of us wont go back and google about it. just let us think, by guiding us to the answer. that is much2 better. and that is what dr dev do. and we are so damn happy for that.

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yesterday i had a radiological presentation. after finished my presentation, the dr asked me a question.

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dr: who did the 'fast'?

me: from the folder, it stated that it was done by radiology registrar.

dr: then it is not 'fast'. we radiologist never did fast. we only do the accurate one. next time, WATCH UR WORDS!

me: ????? *i didnt say 'f***' word. i didnt say 's***' word and i didnt say 'b****' word. and now i have to watch my words???

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im just telling everyone what was written in the folder. that's all. and because of that...i've been scolded. huh.....

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i believe that my blog also been read by my lecturers and doctors. because there is a doctor who is accidently google my blog. i dont mind at all. seriously. it just that, what is in the blog...let it be in the blog. dont bring it outside.

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p/s: last last night, i dreamed about someone, and because of that dream...i kept smiling for the whole day. and should i hope for another dream??? hehe