true medical student

in ICU

me: eh guys...u know what. chef wan will be in Oprah.
farha: oooo ek? why?
me: because he got no 1 in the world's best cook competition if im not mistaken.
farha: wau power yer.
me: yeah..even jamie oliver pun kalah dgn dia. i think he should get 'Datuk'. i mean he deserves that title compare to all that kind of singers who got that.

pause...

me: guey shan....you know how long is the gestational period for elephant?
guey shan : no, but i know for cow.
me: how long?
guey shan: 12 months. and what is the answer for elephant?
me: 22 months. watch national geographic next time. hehe
guey shan: i wanna ask u something.
me: sure, shot.
guey shan: who is oprah?
me: huh? sure u dont know oprah?
guey me: *geleng kepala
me: did u ever read forbes magazine? or watch her TV programs or read about her in internet?
guey shan: nope
me: u better do that now. oprah is among the most popular tv figure in the world. google this name...OPRAH WINFREY. guey shan, stop reading medical books for a while. read something else ok. wau, u r a true medical student. kagum2. hehe

well, in my group...i always asked questions that out from medical base. most of them come from my favourite channels, national geographic, discovery, travel and living and etc la. i asked them this kind of questions because i always failed to give the correct answer if they asked me medical questions. so ni kira balas dendam. well, they rarely watch tv...even more national geographic. in my group, only me and rupesh love to watch this kind of channels. so rupesh is out from the list. others....shot shot shot. and my lucky victim....as usual...noddy (the one that always spend her free time with superjunior)! ishk ishk ishk. and if they failed to give the correct answer...hati mula berbunga. at least i know something that they dont know. one way to de-stress myself actually. and make me think that, im not as bad as i always think.

*twink twink

p/s: it is raining. the whole day. and i love it. i love the weather, i love the rain and i love the scent that coming with it. and i will always do.

..........................................

update 19/11/09

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in icu

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me: guey shan, have u google that name?

guey shan: oprah? not yet. i forgot. i'll do it tonight.

me: ok. good2.

.

then....

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zhe jian: sya, who's oprah?

me: ahhhh....i found the other one.

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p/s: it is still raining....love it so much.

unhappy

i miss A&E so much. although now im in anaest posting, i think i am not really left the A&E. part of me still there.

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i miss the thrill and exciting enviroment inside that A&E, nice doctors, friendly nurses, MA, bro JPA and attendants who are working there. they work in pressure, but they still can smile.

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seriously...this morning, while im alone in one room in ICU, the memory of A&E posting kept flashing in my brain. because, i dont feel like im belong to ICU. i feel like we were not welcome to be there. the staffs dont treats us nicely. not all but some of them. and i starts to feel that we were there to disturb their work activity. plus, the enviroment was quite tense. all sedated patient, lying still with "bep bep bep" sound from machine. stressful rite?

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but im not saying that i hate anaest posting. i like dr dev. the head of anaest department. he's good. he teachs us a lot. and he is a nice person. never scold us if we didnt know about something but he helped us, by letting us to think. that's is the correct way to teach us. dont ask us to go back and find it by ourselves, because i know, 99% of us wont go back and google about it. just let us think, by guiding us to the answer. that is much2 better. and that is what dr dev do. and we are so damn happy for that.

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yesterday i had a radiological presentation. after finished my presentation, the dr asked me a question.

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dr: who did the 'fast'?

me: from the folder, it stated that it was done by radiology registrar.

dr: then it is not 'fast'. we radiologist never did fast. we only do the accurate one. next time, WATCH UR WORDS!

me: ????? *i didnt say 'f***' word. i didnt say 's***' word and i didnt say 'b****' word. and now i have to watch my words???

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im just telling everyone what was written in the folder. that's all. and because of that...i've been scolded. huh.....

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i believe that my blog also been read by my lecturers and doctors. because there is a doctor who is accidently google my blog. i dont mind at all. seriously. it just that, what is in the blog...let it be in the blog. dont bring it outside.

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p/s: last last night, i dreamed about someone, and because of that dream...i kept smiling for the whole day. and should i hope for another dream??? hehe

sense of humanity

salam everyone...

*taking a deep breath

as we go deeper to medical world, as we become more and more senior in medical school, i noticed that we started losing something on the way to that goal (graduate). we started to lose our sense of humanity. not all of us, but some of us. or maybe it just me. me with that little problem.

when i was in Accident&Emergency department (A&E) for two week, i felt that i have a lot of 'bad' thoughts. i become cruel to all the people out there.

when i was in pre-ambulance call, i wish that there will be a case. so i can get a chance to get into that ambulance and go to the scene. jahat kan.

when i was on call at night, i wish that there will be a massive bleeding case or collapsed patient. so that i can observe and assist the doctor doing all the 'medical things' to that patient.

one night, i talked with one of my friend while on da way to the A&E for on call, and her thinking was same as cruel as me. that night was raining and she started to think about the slippery road and there will be a moto-vehicle accident.

but that's us. if there is no case, we cant learn much. because we learned from cases. patient is our best text book.and this is the story from medical world.

there's one night, that one of us was asked to set IV line on one unlucky patient. and i was there to assist my friend to insert the branulla. it was so difficult to get the good vein. and there's is one dilated vein at his dorsal part of his hand, but i told my friend not to puncture that vein because it will be really2 painful to set the IV line there. painful to the patient. better we set at another vein. so, we try to seek another good dilated vein. my friend tried one attempt and failed. then....here come the doctor. and he poke that vein. the vein that we dont even have a gut to poke because we didnt want to cause pain to that patient. and as expected....the patient was in pain. and i just like....what wrong with this doctor? are we going to be like that too in the future? just trying to do it, as long as our job settle?

but i dont want to blame him. that is his job. there a lot of patients in line. and we cant waste our time only on one patient.

and maybe im just not well adapt with it. need time i guess.

but, as we go deeper in medical world...we also notice that we can do a lot of thing to save lifes. used our best knowledge to help people in needs. and helping others....it was the best thing to do in this world!

thank you

Thank You!

almost over

wau...!

that's all i can say to describe what was happen to me today.

last night, i went to on call at AnE department. as usual 8-12midnight. then, something happen. one patient collapsed at red zone, and we try to help the doctor to do all the necessary things to the patient. and tup tap tup tap....130am. and something wrong happen to me. i didnt want to go back. i want to stay in AnE. i enjoyed the enviroment. i want to keep doing something in that room. then, we stay there up until 330am.

after all the doctors said...."go home la...u got exam this week."

then, i was planning to fetch my sis at KB at 4am. tunggu puye tunggu....630am she called me and told me that her bus got some problem. so better get some sleep.

*suddenly heard someone's knocking at my door

still not fully awake, i looked at the clock and DAMN! it's 8am and i was late for ward round. running to the toilet and shower.

815am...still drowsy and in a very fast pace to AnE department....someone msg me.

"end posting exam at 10am"

SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!

just imagine, with lack of sleep and nothing's in my brain...how come i can take my exam. but luckily...my leader yg garang (noddy) succesfully persuade the doctor to postpone the exam time to noon.

well, luckily i think i did well. and now....i'm a bit not well centre due to lack of sleep and my adrenal gland already exausted secreting all the cortisol.

p/s: so sad to accept the fact that this thrilling posting almost over. plz...if someone can freeze the time, do freeze it. i wanna stay in AnE posting.

Quote

while surfing the internet last night, i found this beautiful quote about love.

"true love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly"

beautiful right?

and something came across my mind....

"i know i am not perfect from outside, so what can i do to make myself better?
trying to be perfect from inside"

hehe actually that is mine. sometimes, being sentimental ok what.

i want to tell you a story about one of my friend. my ex-classmate. one 'very early' morning (145am), he called me. telling me how stress and uninteresting his uni's life is. and i said, if u can stand it for the past 4 years, i think another 1 year wont be a problem to you. he agreed with me. and told me about his 'drive force' when he was having any difficulty. well, actually a bit shocking to me.

"unfortunately, i picked this way. whatever happen in my life, good or bad, im going to go through it till the end, cause i know, GOD has something for me."

sound familliar?

i put this quote in my FB profile. i wrote this to express my previous regret for choosing this road. well, everyone made mistake in making a choice. so do i. but now, there is no way to turn back. the clock is thicking, and i am so positive with the road that i'm taking now.

back to his story. he told me that this quote has change him. if he starts to think how suck his life is, he will use it to calm him down. what an honour to me. well, i never thought that the things that i wrote in my FB or my blog will help to change others too. i write because i love to. anyway, thank u for being an active or silent reader for my blog. this is the place where i express my thought, de-stress myself and sharing all the stories and dramas that occur around me. i write because i think it can help me to be a better person to myself, my family, my friends and peoples around me, and i hope it can help you too.

p/s: if u r reading my blog now, just try to be strong. u r on that road because u r the choosen one. GOD knows that u r capable to go through it. trust me, u r good, and u r always good in this.

Good Luck Sis!

musim tengkujuh just started in kelantan and terengganu. lots and lots and lots of rainy day for sure. and i lOVE it so much. hehe

in uni, exam session also just started. and here, in this post, i wanna wish good luck to my lovely sis. dear sis, i never thought that u will end up to be a siswi. but u proved to me and others that we're wrong. so keep it up. do your best in ur exam. and show to them (that always look down at you) that u can get a degree too.

GOOD LUCK SIS!

p/s: i'll wait for u this wednesday morning.

should i call it a day?

huhu too many things happen to me today. should i call it a day?

1. woke up late to ward round and been considered as absent
2. need to write a letter to head of department for my absent....and what did i write in that letter?being honest about wake-up late thing. and i think that is the best reason right?
3. oncall for morning and evening session.
4. leave my room at 815am until 800pm
5. missed the ambulance call. shit!
6. meeting the supervisor.
7. 'beku' in that A&E
8. performed badly in the ECG test. i was failed. beyond repair!
9. 'collapsed' in my room after solat magrib until 930pm.
10. no lunch today.
11. i know i am stupid. but today, i just realized how really really stupid i am, and just have 5 months to cover all the 'big holes' in my head. tolong........!

well....after a long day in A&E, i took something to refresh me. oldtown white coffea. the best potion ever.

house needs vicodin, i need caffein. done.